Hector

Posted on 25. Oct, 2009 by Pepe in Oplan Pepe

My wife and I are using contraceptives and it is a mutual decision not to have children. For now.

Does the use of contraceptives condemn us to the fires of hell? I don’t know.

Does this make us immoral? NO.

Does this make us un-Catholic? Yes, if a word like that exists.

On not having kids, it’s easy for people to judge and make conclusions. I would always get reactions like “It’s just a phase.” to “Wait until you get your own kid.” and I would just nod, smile, and be polite in telling them that we’re still enjoying our time together.

On the use of contraceptives, the truth is:
1. It’s because we enjoy and value our own sense of freedom. I see pictures in Facebook of friends with their kids. I salute them. Parents have an honorable and difficult task in raising their children to become productive citizens. It’s a sacred thing BUT there are those people who equate having kids and raising them well as THE ultimate goal in life. My wife and I don’t share that view.

I believe that all of us have a different calling. Being a parent is just one of them. There are more.

2. We have practical reasons. Times are harder and I don’t see myself as a parent but more of an uncle. I love my nephew and niece. They are my “children” and I am one with my brother and sister-in-law in making sure that they would do something good for humanity. I can play with them but when they start throwing tantrums, I can easily get their parents to take over. Anytime, I can say NO to them without feeling a tinge of guilt.

But I made a promise that I will be their drinking buddy when they reach 12.

3. We’re 90 million and counting. I leave the others to excel in populating my Philippines. Not adding more Pinoys on my part is by choice. If I do have kids, I want them to go to the best schools, receive basic services from a government that serves THEIR interest, and I want them to know and love their country.

Subalit sa kalagayan ng ating bansa ngayon, hindi ko nakikita ang mga magiging anak o mga kaapo-apuhan ko na mabuhay sa ganitong sitwasyon.

Hindi pa handa ang Pilipinas na kumalinga sa mga Pinoy o Pinay na magmumula sa aming mag-asawa. Napakarami na natin.

PERO ayoko ring magsalita ng tapos sapagkat tao lang ako. Kung sakaling maisipan namin na magkaroon ng pamilya at medyo delikado na para sa asawa ko baka mag-ampon na lang kami. There are a lot of unwanted babies and if we can help in raising one well, it is our contribution to society and to our country.

Now to answer the questions:
1. How do you feel now about your religion? Compare this to how you felt about it as you were growing up and vs. what you were taught.

I don’t go to church anymore and I don’t know if there is a heaven or hell but I do believe in karma. I believe in a God that wants us to do good for humanity. I believe in this moving force that drives people to achieve what they want out of life. I don’t believe in a vengeful or jealous God who’s out to punish us or make us feel guilty for being human.

I now live under five rules: Be your own best friend. Live your passion. Do good to your kapwa. Don’t steal. Don’t kill.

Now that I don’t subscribe to the beliefs of the Catholic Church and no longer live under its rules, I have decided to stop hearing mass.

But there are things that I just can’t let go of. I consider myself a cultural Christian (if there is such a label then I’m happy to be one). I love Christmas, the gifts, long vacations especially during the Holy Week, old Filipino churches especially the Morong and Dauis churches, and I love singing “Lead me Lord” in videoke and listening to the chorale.

I don’t speak for everybody so I’m just guessing that some of us had a point in our lives when we wanted to lead holy lives by becoming priests or nuns. I was an altar boy when I was little. In my days in elementary and high school, I got high grades in Religion. There was also a time that I was a Bible Quiz champion having been raised in a Catholic middle-class family and watching Flying House and Superbook. At that age, I was also looking at a stack of porn that I accidentally unearthed but that’s another story.

I still pray but no longer to a God inside those magnificent structures but to a God that is everywhere; a God who is not trapped in dogma and used by selfish men to get rich or elected or both.

2. What brought about your new view of the church or its priests? Did you feel any guilt over your decision?

I’m more particular on the Church or any religious group’s involvement in Philippine politics and Rizal’s views on the friars as the roadblock to progress. I’m troubled over the fact that the Iglesia ni Cristo is using block voting and condemning people who want to think for themselves. I’m also troubled by Brother Mike Velarde and his (untaxed) millions of pesos and his millions of followers who have voting rights as well.

I’m also troubled by elected officials like former Mayor Lito Atienza (yes, MayniLA during his term) who have obstructed reproductive health programs in his city that could help the poor.

Oh, I’m also bothered that there are plenty of Caucasians in heaven while there are only two Filipinos there considering that we’re the largest Christian nation in Asia. There sure are racists in the Vatican

I don’t feel guilty about my views because priests are human and as human beings, there are some who enjoy wielding power and influence over people. It’s easy to enslave people with ideas than with physical force.

3. What do you think about the Church’s meddling in state issues such as the Reproductive Health Bill and the Magna Carta of Women?

The ironic thing about the Church is that they’re thinking that they’re helping or saving society by opposing and even muddling the RH Bill issue. They’re making sure that the only choice that WE have are the ones that THEY present. They claim to have the answers to almost everything.

The Church is for progress and happiness and you get all these in heaven. They say it with absolute CERTAINTY.

Women are on the receiving end of a bad deal when it comes to the Catholic Church. They cannot be ordained as priests and cannot decide on what is good for their body. Make no mistake, I am against abortion but I want women to have access to contraceptives. Those are two different things.

Women have to be subservient to men as written in the Scriptures and this is even enunciated in wedding vows.

My wife made it a point to take out that part in our wedding.

4. Anything else you might want to add about your insights on church, religion and the meddling modern day Padre Damasos in our midst?

One of the reasons that Rizal got shot was because of his progressive ideas and his attacks on the friars for confining his fellow Filipinos in superstition and ignorance. The two novels showed that friars can be damn wrong (He was vicious in the Noli) and these leaving these men of the cloth no longer untouchable.

Rizal believes in God and in man’s conscience in determining what is right and wrong and especially on education to free his people from suffering and ignorance.

Education is the key to be truly free. The Reproductive Health Bill is one of the ways to get to that point. We need to have choices available to us now and we need to make them without guilt or fear.

Oras na para gamitin ang utak dahil bigay ito ng Maykapal. Sobra na tayo sa puso katulad ng paboritong kong sports commentator na si Chino Trinidad tuwing nagco-cover ng laban ni Pacquiao

Maraming salamat sa pagbasa.

HECTOR
-30-

Tags: confession